Meet the Mancunian - Talking supporting women with Yasmin Ariff

Meet the Mancunian-6.8-Yasmin Ariff - transcript

Intro

Hello, and a warm Mancunian welcome to all my incredible listeners out there. I'm Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe, your friendly host. And you've just tuned in to the sixth season of the Meet the Mancunian podcast, where I share remarkable social impact stories from the heart of Manchester every Tuesday throughout the season.

This podcast is a celebration of the unsung heroes, the change makers and the passionate souls who are making a real difference in our vibrant city. From social enterprises to non-profits and community groups, I bring you the voices of worker bees and volunteers, all coming together for a common cause.

Through heartfelt conversations, my guests share their experiences, dreams, and unwavering commitment to making a difference. From the challenges they've overcome to the triumphs that fuel their passion, their stories will leave you moved, enlightened, and brimming with hope. Join me on this audio adventure as my guests and I explore the transformative power of collective action and the remarkable impact we can create when we unite for a common cause.

Their tales are a testament to the power of community, collaboration, and the indomitable Mancunian spirit. They not only address pressing issues right here in Manchester, but also offer insights and inspiration that resonate far beyond these boundaries. So, whether you're commuting, on a run, or just relaxing at home, I invite you to tune in on Apple, Spotify, Google, or any of your favourite podcasting platforms. You can also log on to my website www.meetthemancunian.co.uk. Let's embark on this journey of discovery and inspiration.

For my new listeners, you can catch up on the incredible stories from the first five seasons at www.meetthemancunian.co.uk, where you'll also find out more about my own journey as a podcaster. And to all my returning listeners, I can't thank you enough for your support. You make this podcast possible and I'm immensely grateful.

So, join me as I continue to share these inspiring tales of change and community support from the beating heart of Manchester. Together we can spread a bit of good news, spark meaningful conversations, and inspire positive action. Thank you for being a part of the Meet the Mancunian community.

Welcome to the eighth episode of Season 6 of the Meet the Mancunian podcast, Social Impact Stories from Manchester.

Passionate about supporting women in education, we hear from Yasmin Ariff, Career and Leadership Coach and Volunteer, Women Ed in this episode.

I would like to dedicate this episode to my darling mum, Annie Thomas, who was a dedicated schoolteacher working in India, helping children realise their potential.

Episode 6.8

[00:03:12] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: I'm delighted to introduce my guest, Yasmin Ariff, Career and Leadership Coach and Volunteer, Women Ed. Thank you so much for joining me today, Yasmin.

[00:03:22] Yasmin Ariff: Thank you for having me, Deepa.

[00:03:24] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: I know we're both trying to stay relatively cool in the middle of the afternoon on a weekend, but it is nice to have some not cold weather as well.

[00:03:34] Yasmin Ariff: Yes, definitely.

[00:03:36] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: First tell us about how you found your passion for supporting women in the community. I read about your passion for women only spaces and how important they are on your blog, around Women's Day. tell us a little bit about that.

[00:03:50] Yasmin Ariff: Yes, I think it was a couple of years ago before lockdown when I went to my first Women Ed event. And it was a woman-only event for women leaders who work in education. And it was the first time I'd experienced that kind of setting where women were lifting up each other and sharing their sort of frustrations with the systems, and you felt safe to share anything you wanted to, and you didn't have to tiptoe around anybody.

And it just really enlightened me, and I'd never experienced that before, and I just thought it's really important that we have more of these women only spaces, because I think that's part of the problem. In education especially, the gender pay gap is wide and more men are in senior roles even though the profession is dominated more by women.

And I think it's because women aren't given the spaces to figure out how to get promotion or perhaps when they go on maternity leave, they come back and we call it the motherhood penalty because women are held back. They've got childcare costs and childcare in itself is a massive responsibility.

So yes, I think that was the catalyst for me, that women only space. And since then, I've been supporting women leaders, not just in education, but outside of education to advance their careers.

[00:05:17] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: Thank you. And that brings us very well to coaching and you have your own coaching service and what are your areas of focus there?

[00:05:25] Yasmin Ariff: A range of themes, but they are common themes that women seem to bring to my sessions. Some of the common themes that some of my women coachees might share are lack of confidence and I'm hesitant to use the word imposter syndrome because I think that is actually an unfair way of pathologizing actually quite natural emotions that we experience as women, which is perhaps, sometimes you might feel uncertain.

You might get a promotion, or you might be in a new job, and just feel a bit insecure and uncertain, which is quite natural because it's all new. And we tend to call it imposter syndrome, but actually what I try and get women to understand is these are all natural emotions. It doesn't mean that you're less of a person, and we look at ways of exploring those emotions, embracing them and using them to empower us rather than disempower us.

So I think one of the main areas is increasing confidence, not pathologizing natural emotions. And I guess a lot of women who come to me are in their 30s, 40s. And I think that's the point, certainly in schools, women tend to leave education, so they come to me at a crossroads wanting to explore next steps.

Maybe feeling perhaps a little frustrated so I do a lot of coaching around how to tap into their inner knowing, their inner guide, because I feel like everyone's got that, but we get so clouded by the day to day, treadmill of life we lose touch with our voice. I help them to tap into that voice to really find out what is it that they need to do next.

[00:07:16] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: Thank you for sharing that. And I think both are really important because, everyone has a superpower, as I call it. There are things we do well and our strengths. And, we spend a lot of time developing areas we're not so good at, but sometimes we need to lean into what we do well.

And the other one, of course, is this element of confidence because whether we use the term imposter syndrome or not, there's a lot of statistics about how women are hesitant to put themselves forward and even if they're skilled and experienced, whereas men may not have the experience, but have the confidence to go and put themselves forward and sometimes it's if you're not at the table, if you're not leaning in. How do you get the opportunity to get promoted? Then you're waiting for the goodwill of your team or your leaders, which may not always be the case. There is a case perhaps for all of us to say, hey, we can do this.

[00:08:12] Yasmin Ariff: Absolutely. And women are also facing all sorts of unconscious bias because Vivienne Porritt who is the strategic lead for Women Ed said this and it resonated with me is when a woman goes and asks for a pay rise or a promotion, she's thought less of than if a man was to ask for a pay rise or promotion, he's thought more highly of and seen as confident.

[00:08:40] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: I know. This pay gap issue is quite real in many different industries and great that you're coaching people about that.

Tell us a little bit about your volunteering activities with Women's Ed. You said you've got many roles with Women Ed, so can you tell us a little bit about that?

[00:08:57] Yasmin Ariff: Yes. So, I have, first of all, offered free coaching to women leaders in the Women Ed community to help them overcome a variety of issues, but also that's really helping to inform my research because we have this end goal. It's not even an end goal it's a goal that we want to continue to create a Women Ed coaching community.

And what we are going to do is train up Women Ed coaches using the apprenticeship levy and pay those coaches to coach other women leaders to create this skilled support network for the women in education.

So we're in the early stages at the moment, but I'm doing a lot of pro bono work with the Women Ed community, coaching them. And that's just informing my research so that we know. What are the common themes that women leaders bring to the table? And once we've pinpointed those, we can then create really bespoke coaching models that are fit for the women's issues and themes that they bring to the table.

It's a really exciting time. We've actually got our first cohort of Women Ed leaders starting in September, next Thursday, and they will be on a 12-month apprenticeship, a coaching professional apprenticeship, where we will train them to coach, and all the skills that you need to be a great coach, with a view that they then, after they've graduated, coach other women leaders in the women ed space.

[00:10:28] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: This sounds like a very exciting time, both the cohort as well as that skilled network of supporters and people who uplift other women that you're trying to build with Women Ed. That's really interesting.

Are there been challenges on this journey that you're on both through your coaching or your volunteering? Tell us about how you overcome them as well.

[00:10:49] Yasmin Ariff: I think one that stands out to me, and this is quite relevant, because it links to the recent release of, have you seen the Barbie movie?

[00:10:59] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: I haven't, but I've heard a lot about it.

[00:11:02] Yasmin Ariff: And what's quite interesting is about when that came out, it resonated with a lot of women. It brought light to them, a different perspective, or it actually highlighted how they were feeling.

But then I think there was a lot of backlash a lot of people, men, maybe even women, saying things like this is toxic feminism, that it's really exaggerating real life, there isn't such a problem as the movie depicts, and I think that's sometimes how you feel supporting women to advance, when people perhaps do I don't want to use the word gaslight, but sometimes it is gaslighting you, saying you've got your position. I've got a female head teacher, I've got a female boss, I've got lots of examples of women progressing. I've not experienced those problems.

And I think that's a challenge. Just trying to really get people to understand that there is still a problem, and I think the way we overcome that, and the Women Ed community are amazing at this, is they do lots of deep research. This isn't just based on opinions and experiences, although the lived experiences of women are so important, it's backed up by research.

And the Women Ed have a book out with full of research to show sort of the injustice and the disparity between how much men get paid compared to how much women get paid. But also there's a new book coming out soon as well with more up to date research. So I think that's the main challenge that stands out to me just trying to communicate the truth. And in order to do that, I think facts and research is a really powerful tool.

[00:12:47] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: Thank you for sharing that. You're absolutely right. And, sometimes we use our own reality, which maybe everybody's got different backgrounds, contexts, and you can't assume that's the case for everyone.

You've told us a little bit about who you help and support, but I think you also refer to work you do in the apprentice program, if you want to talk about that now.

[00:13:09] Yasmin Ariff: Yes, thank you. That would be really exciting because this is something that I got into when I left teaching about 18 months ago. I'm so excited and passionate about it. It's a great opportunity to be able to share it with anyone.

So I did my coaching training before I started the apprenticeship training and it's expensive training to be a coach. And I think historically, coaching has always been exclusive to the C suite, the exec, and your middle managers, your frontline staff didn't really, and don't really, I think, just from working with organisations, have much access to coaching.

So when I started working in apprenticeships with my brother, I realised that there was an apprenticeship levy. And if you go on the Institute of Apprenticeship website, which I did, you can find a range of apprenticeships that the government will fund. And I found a coaching one, and I just thought, this is fantastic.

This is a really robust standard curriculum that you could make out of, the standard that they created. But it's funded through the government, so if your employer supports you... Then you can complete your coaching training on the job with your employer fully funded. So I, for example, paid about 8,000 pounds for all my training and I'm still paying lots, but the apprenticeship is 5,000 pounds and it's fully funded through the government.

I said to my brother we must look into delivering this, because coaching I feel is still bubbling before the surface in the workplace. Some employees are buying into it, others aren't quite there yet. There's a lot of talk about it, but I think because it's expensive, that's why perhaps there's also a bit of resistance.

We've basically been running the Coaching Apprenticeship for a year now, and our first cohort will go through at the end of this year. We are really passionate about democratising coaching in the workplace, so that everyone has access to a coach, not just your senior leaders. And that means training as many leaders as possible in coaching skills, so that everyone can have a coach.

We've got, like I've mentioned, the Women Ed Cohort starting in September, and we've got another one starting in March for Women Ed. But we're also looking to work with charities like Coffee for Craig. They will be enrolling with us on the Coaching Apprenticeship in October.

Because if you are a charity, you also get access to the government funding and we can train your team up in coaching skills, which means that then you can coach your guests or any of the people that you work with from disadvantaged or marginalised communities.

So this is a really exciting time to be able to, I think, democratise coaching across a range of sectors.

[00:16:07] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: I think this is really great. Thank you for sharing that. Coaches can be very useful at many different points in your life whether you're starting a new job, looking into a new role or just having a difficult time and trying to find yourself. So many ways one can benefit from a coach.

Tell us about the impact you've made so far through all of your work, whether it be the coaching, the volunteering with Women's Ed, or the apprentice scheme.

[00:16:33] Yasmin Ariff: Yes, of course. Impact, I think, on an anecdotal level through perhaps, let's talk about the apprenticeship, the coaching apprenticeship. What I've noticed is the common theme with leaders who have studied the coaching apprenticeship with us, is they're just really taken aback at how fast they work on a day-to-day pay, a day-to-day basis, and how fast their brains work.

Daniel Kahneman calls it system one, system two, and system one's the automatic brain. And sometimes we need system two to slow the brain down and make quality decisions, but the pace of living the way we live our lives today just doesn't lend itself to that.

When the leaders come on the coaching apprenticeship and they take time out and they're trained in these really sometimes quite technical skills in questioning and slowing your coachee's brain down, challenging limiting beliefs that sometimes just get the best of us they realise. Oh, this is something we don't do enough of.

We don't have quality thinking environments and we need more of it, because otherwise you are just on autopilot and that's where we stifle creativity and innovation. So I think that's really heartening to see leaders recognise that they need to slow down and then taking that to their teams and getting their teams to slow down. That's really important.

And I think the other impact that stands out to me is a lot of the coachees through either the ones that I've coached or the ones that the coaches I've trained, have coached, have fed back to either myself or their coachees, that they wouldn't still be working in that workplace if it wasn't for having that coach to support them.

They would've left by now. And just being seen and heard had such a profound impact on them that it gave them the strength to continue, and I think that's really important that so many people feel seen and heard. And because of that, they're growing resilience, and they feel empowered to carry on.

[00:18:47] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: That is an amazing impact. Like you said, being seen and heard, being supported through difficult circumstances in people's lives, that is really an amazing impact. Thank you for doing what you do, and I hope that community continues to thrive.

[00:19:04] Yasmin Ariff: Oh, thank you, you're very welcome.

[00:19:06] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: How can interested people reach out to you and learn more? Where can they find you and where can they find Women's Aid?

[00:19:12] Yasmin Ariff: There's a variety of channels. I think the Women Ed community are all over social media. They're very prolific on Twitter but you can reach them also through me because I have lots of links to, to them through my bio. So I have a website, www.yasminariffcoaching.com. I'm also on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram.

And we run the Coaching Apprenticeships through CBP Group, so our website is www.cbpgroup.co.uk. So there's a couple of ways of reaching out to us.

[00:19:54] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: Thank you for sharing that and I'll include that in my show notes as well.

[00:19:58] Yasmin Ariff: Brilliant.

[00:19:58] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: What advice would you have for people looking to start a similar movement in their local community? We've got listeners now from 50 countries, but also potentially in people who are just interested maybe in another part of the UK as well. How do they get started?

[00:20:15] Yasmin Ariff: I think the best mantra for me is to tell yourself, yes, you can. Yes, you can do what whatever you want. But the biggest challenge for people is can do what? What am I supposed to do?

And I think for me it was really tapping into the inner voice that I referenced earlier today in the podcast, and I got that through a lot of introspection, I do practice yoga every day, I practice meditation every day and I think that really helped me to get quiet and the more quiet I got, the more loud this voice got inside me saying you need to leave teaching. There's something else. There's something else. And I didn't know what it was, but it was there.

It was like, it's time. So I think my best advice is just to get really quiet, whatever, whichever method you want, and tap into that inner voice. And then when that voice comes and you start doubting it, you tell yourself, yes, you can.

[00:21:17] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: Very good advice. Very difficult to do, I think, to go silent and just really listen, but really handy advice because I think, again, it's being true to yourself, true to your strengths,

[00:21:29] Yasmin Ariff: Yes

[00:21:30] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: and that's really great that you were able to do that and hopefully help people do that as

[00:21:35] Yasmin Ariff: Yes, I think, you're very right, it is, it sounds so easy in theory, just be quiet, but it's easier said than done, isn't it?

[00:21:42] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: It is, yes. I must say that's something I do struggle with, mindfulness and meditation. I have other ways to relax and decompose, but yes, sometimes this is something that will come one day.

An opportunity now for you to talk about anything I haven't asked you about. Anything coming up in the next two or three months.

[00:22:07] Yasmin Ariff: Yes. The Women Edge Global Unconference is on the 30th of September. Unfortunately, I am traveling, so I will not be able to attend it, but CBP will be represented and there'll be lots of other things on. So that's in London, that would be a great event for any women leaders in education to attend, or aspiring leaders.

And just that the coaching apprenticeship is open to any sector any gender, and it's an absolutely inclusive apprenticeship. We welcome all different levels of leaders onto it from different backgrounds. We have one or two spaces left for October and then we have a cohort starting in April 2024. So it'd be great if anyone listening was working in England and employed and wants some coaching training to get in touch and join one of our cohorts in the future.

[00:23:03] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: Lovely. Oh, shout out to anybody in England who's interested.

Thank you for sharing that. I now come to the signature questions. I ask all my guests, and it's my favourite bit of the podcast. So can you describe the Mancunian spirit in a word or a phrase?

[00:23:20] Yasmin Ariff: Oh, the Mancunian spirit, let me think real.

[00:23:25] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: Thank you. That is an interesting one to take for sure.

Can you share a Mancunian who inspires you and why?

[00:23:32] Yasmin Ariff: Lemn Sissay, I think he's an inspiration for his own life story. He was a looked after child and he's turned into this really inspirational poet who, and I'm an English teacher first and foremost, that's what I trained in. So I think that's the synergy there, my love for poetry and words and the way that he brings them to life. I think he's a great one.

[00:23:56] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: One of my guests, he was a poet from a poet society and he recited one of Lemn Sissay's poems and I follow him on Twitter as well. Very interesting.

[00:24:08] Yasmin Ariff: Yes. I think, he's one up there for me.

[00:24:10] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: What's the most important life lesson you've learned so far?

[00:24:13] Yasmin Ariff: I think, in the spirit of coaching, to be more non-judgmental. And I think only in my latter years of my, latter part of my sort of 30s, I'm 40 in November I think only in the latter years when I, especially when I did the coaching training, I really realised how judgmental we all can be, but it highlighted my own prejudices and bias, and I think through coaching, because you have to hold a non-judgmental space, it's on your radar more, and the more it's on your radar, the more you are tuned into it.

Which made me, when I went back into sort of, my non coaching world, my day-to-day life, I applied it there and I just thought sometimes you meet people and you make assumptions about them or they might say something and then you might spin this story about them and I realised I did that a lot more than I thought I did.

So I think that's my biggest life lesson through my coaching training is just to less judgmental, and I think going back to the point where I said, get quiet and get silent, because you access something I think through that quiet, it just means you don't judge, you switch a part of your brain that judges off more, so the more we get quiet, I think that helps us to train the brain to be less judgmental.

[00:25:35] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: I think it's a really important one and I think, like you said, we put labels to people very easily, and we make some assumptions. I'm talking more generally rather than anybody specific, but I think there is a bit of, assuming we all have a similar context, we all come home to a good home and, have all the privileges that maybe other people don't have.

I use a different term, perhaps I use it as a bit of emotional intelligence and really deep listening. And then you're much more accepting of people and, you give them a chance to tell you what's going on rather than assuming this is what's going on.

[00:26:15] Yasmin Ariff: Definitely, this is great leadership as well that you're describing.

[00:26:18] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: Absolutely. One to keep working at, because it doesn't come easy, but you definitely want to keep getting better at emotional intelligence.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

[00:26:33] Yasmin Ariff: I've joined a gym and I've been doing a bit of CrossFit and I'm finding pull ups really hard. So if I had a superpower, I would be able to do more pull ups quicker.

[00:26:43] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: That's a fun one, yes.

Is there a funny story you'd like to share with listeners or a sweet story to share with listeners?

[00:26:52] Yasmin Ariff: I've got one. It's a bit of a family story, but I think it's like a moral lesson. I'll tell the story and then maybe the lesson will become real. So last week I, I saw a mouse in my house. And it ran from under my sofa and then went into a crevice in the kitchen and I was terrified of this tiny little mouse, it was so small. And I just packed my bags, and I went staying at my mum and dad's because I can't be in that house.

And I made such big fuss of it, and I was almost like physiologically impacted by it. I was sweating and I was a bit hysterical. And then, I told my brother, and he said This is what Theo says about mice. And Theo's my nephew, and he's five years old. And it just made me realise how silly I was being.

He was like, Dad, I don't know why people are so scared of mice. He was like, they're so small and cute and I, and it just made me realise, oh, you're being so ridiculous. This tiny little mouse who's more terrified than me of it and my little five-year-old nephew's just captured that innocence. Just captures, doesn't it, reality more.

[00:28:01] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: I sympathise with you because I would probably react very similarly. But I like what your nephew said. Because there's a mouse in our garden and he looks like suspiciously like the squirrel. So, the squirrels are cute.

[00:28:14] Yasmin Ariff: Yes

[00:28:15] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: So we're letting him be. We're not doing anything about it. As long as he's clear that he has to stay in the garden.

[00:28:21] Yasmin Ariff: That's it, isn't it? And I think my friend also, she talked to me about a bit about it and she added some insight, which was she had a rabbit at her allotment. And I find rabbits really cute and some of the men on the allotment wanted to shoot it.

And I thought that was barbaric. And we talk sometimes about the arrogance of man, like we think this world is ours, it's humans, we think that we own it, and we do everything we can to monopolise it and take over, but actually, it's as much the mouse's land as mine, it's as much the rabbit's land as mine. I think that's the moral of the story that I was trying to get at there.

[00:29:00] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: It's a very good one and thank you for sharing that. I'm very much an animal lover and I would love a world where animals were treated better. I know there are many people who treat them well but there are many who are not so nice.

[00:29:14] Yasmin Ariff: Yes.

[00:29:14] Deepa Thomas-Sutcliffe: Thank you so much, Yasmin. This has been a real pleasure.

It's been great to hear so much about the good work you're doing, both to uplift other women as well as to bring more coaches into the world.

[00:29:27] Yasmin Ariff: Thank you so much. And it's been a pleasure. I hope that it's added some value to the people who listen to your podcast and yourself.

Outro

Yasmin, I really enjoyed learning about helping women in education today. Dear listener, thank you so much for listening to the eighth episode of the Meet the Mancunian podcast season six. Tune in every Tuesday for a new episode or log on to www.meetthemancunian.co.uk to listen to all the episodes and learn more about my podcasting story.

Next week, on Tuesday, 24th October, 2023, I speak to Jane Wells about supporting employability for the youth. Apologies if you are a returning listener. I decided a break from the theme of youth may be good for listeners and hence we had a focus on women in this episode.

Thank you for joining me on this enriching journey through the social impact stories of Manchester with the sixth season of the Meet the Mancunian podcast. I hope the stories you heard today have sparked a fire of inspiration within you. May they serve as a gentle reminder that no dream is too big and no passion too small.

Your feedback means the world to me. Visit www.meetthemancunian.co.uk to share your thoughts, suggestions, and the causes that touched your heart. Your input helps me craft a podcast that truly touches hearts and makes a difference in our community.

Stay connected with the podcast on social media. You can find us @MeettheMancunian on Instagram, on Facebook, or follow us on Twitter @MancunianPod. Sharing and leaving a comment would be a fantastic way to spread the word and build a vibrant community of changemakers.

Before I sign off, remember to introduce this podcast to your friends and family so together we can amplify the impact and reach of these incredible stories. Once again, thank you so much for being a part of the Meet the Mancunian family. Your support fuels my passion and I can't wait to bring you more compelling stories that will touch your heart and fuel your soul.

Until we meet again in the next episode, let's keep creating waves of change together. Remember the world needs the Mancunian spirit, so go out there and be the change you wish to see.

Take care, stay inspired.